I can't help myself, but just look towards you.
I can't move a step, but just wait upon you.
I can no longger run, I can no longger hide.
Because I am lost, and I need you

Don't wanna go through storm without you

I have been running
I have been searching
But I did not see anything

I have been blind
I have been lost
And still I am still wondering on my own.

I don't want to leave but you made me to,
I don't wanna go out there but you force me to,
I don't wanna walk in the storm but you lead me on.
I don't wanna get my shoe wet but you insist me to.

I was afriad, but u assure me of safety.
I was so far, but you pulled me back
I was lame but now you heal me.
I was affraid of the storm, but you comfort me.

Now I am in your wings of protection.
Living under your shadow of salvation.
And I don't wanna go throught the storm without you again.

Another Day without my dearest..

Spending a weekend alone... It is pretty unusual for me. However, it is not because of my dearest is not with me this weekend but then i choose to stay home and rest. I have invitations to go shopping and stuff... I was just too lazy...

So, this morning church service was awesome! Was very inspired by pastors preaching. Truely inspired to be a better leader to do something bigger than life...

I guess nothing much to write for today... plain day...

Earth Hour!

O Yea! it is my first time participating in earth hour! Now i can feel how cold my house is without light! But that is not the story!

There we a lot of celebration out there. I am just too tired to join the crowd. I would prefer to stay home and rest. But the catch is... I am alone at home this weekend! Outch...

I spend first half an hour walking alone in the park and next half...in front of my laptop in the dark!

yuppie! 10 more minutes i'll hv my lights bak!!

more than usual!

There are so much to do today! And I am still not done with my task! There are times where u just wish you can fats forward you clock. But there are also times where you wish you can slow down your clock so that you have longer time! Yes! That is happening to me right now. I am trying so hard, but it just doesn’t seem to work this way. Many times, I could not understand how a researcher can stay in the lab for hours and most of the times stay till late night to complete their task. How can you be so productive for such a long hour? I seriously do not understand till today! I was so caught up with my research that I almost stayed 9 hours in front of the computer and took less than an hour for lunch! Today, it is the first time I actually leave my lab at 7.40pm which is like pitch dark out there due to the rain. Hungry was not in my dictionary at all. By the time I get in my car.. I could not even position my neck properly and my back was aching badly. Well, it will not be the first but many to come I guess… So many task to be done and time is really short… I am still studying my results now… I need some sleep!! Help!!

A poem of nothing

Drip, drop,
The rain is falling on my table top.
Hop, hop
There goes the little frog.
Tick, tock,
That is the sound of my clock.
Owh Gosh
Here go, I am writing my blog!

Just another day

Everyday is full of waiting...
When I hit the bed...I whish I can wake up late..
when I drag myself up.. I just can't wait to get back in again.
Trying to greet the sunshine while waiting for my breakfast,
But my head just can't stop thinking about my next task.
On my way to work, I am just waiting to get there..
When I get on my work, I am waiting for my results.
While waiting for my results, I am waiting for my next paycheck.
While waiting for all that, my stomach is waiting for lunch!
After lunch.. I just can't wait to complete my work...while doing that...I am just waiting to go home!

On my way home... I was stuck in the jam...
While I was in the jam, My stomach is waiting for dinner...
When dinner comes... I am just waiting for a day where I can do some excercise...

Days just fly by with the same old routine... workout? Just never workout...
I spend almost 1 hour everyday stuck in the jam.... How much waiting can that be? Waiting to reach home, waiting to go to the ladies, waiting to greet my dog, waiting to get my rest, waiting to clean my house, waiting to... argh I dunno what...

Long time no blog

It has been a while since I last step into this page! Wow! My brain is that empty!

Why? Must common sense be taught?

Driving is not just getting there, but also to keep your manner and morale while driving. Laws are just there to guide, but is it really take to monitor you? That, I do not know. One fine day as I was on my way to work, I say a driver (drove a pretty good car) threw rubbish out from his window. So? The richer you are does not mean the more civilize you are…. So what about driving and keep your eyes and ears open? On the same day, an ambulance passing by. It was an emergency ride, so most of the car went to the side and then chase after the ambulance as usual. But one particular saga (which the speed is bad) was trying so hard to race in front of the ambulance! Hello!!! One life is dying there! So, is this ignorance? Or we are not well educated? Sometimes, you just feels like screaming at those people..but then, you just can’t…. Outch…

A friend to Remember

Gina, it one of the kindest friend I ever known. She is always happy and positive. She is a very strong and courages woman. And not to forget she is a very good friend. I never thought that the last time I visited her will be my last, but indeed yes. She have went back with the Lord yestersday 5.45am. I will miss her a lot. It is hard to accept... but then yeah, she have gone home... She is only 29year old.... sigh...

Goodbye Gina...

Happy Chinese New Year!

It is the year of Ox! Yeah! It is my final year to collect ang pow this year. Oh..sobbie!!!

Anyway, this new year is a year where we reunite with our old friend. When i touched down on thursday evening, my dad told me a friend of my drop by to visit the day before. It was a friend whom i hv not seen for almost 5 yeears!!! And I have lost his contact number.... So thanks to FB i manage to locate him once again! This happened to my dad too... as we were having branch in a coffee shop, a friends of his suddenly called him... they have not seen each other for like 30 over years!!! O my!!!! What a awesome year!!!

There are still lots of things to follow up and precious time to recall back all the classic memories... :)
Happy Chinese Moo Moo year!!!!!

Masters..masters... it is not like degree!

Life have been pretty challenging lately. There is no more free time to shop, free time to do my own things and free time to think of myself..goodness! I have to be in the lab from 10am to 6pm from monday to friday. However, 6 is not the proper time to leave the lab....because no body leaves and sometimes work do not permit me to leave! So, 10 am to 7 pm or later is my time where I leave and by the time i reach home after dinner... the earliest is 10pm and on average.... 12am! Goodness!!!

I am not living a good lifestyle lately...bad food time and late sleeping time!!! Outch..and no exercise!!! I just could find a time to hit the gym!!! My goodness!!!!

But the amazing thing is that...out of all the tiring days, church wide prayer meeting is the best cure to me to really find comfort and rest...

Just lately.. I finally change my habit of my daily devotion... instead of getting to it at night...i move it to morning... it was great...awake and hungry...heheh

Up and down...left and right!

Yay! I am done with my RA application and today I am officially attending my lab as a Research assistant! WOW! Dispite of waiting for the slow reply from the admin, which is very normal, I am currently reading up on my project and exploring my new programme.

Sadly, it was not as good as I expected... I thought this uni is really upgrading... yeah the library is kind of well equiped. But then, my lab is way off... what is the purpose to give me the best computer in the market without an internet connection? How to do research? Outch... Still not there yet huh... The best I can do now is buy my own USB modem and get my own wireless to get my self effective... It is hopeless to really wait for the upgrade... I'll never get on with my work... Sometimes, this does makes me feel like letting go all of it and just do something else... but then... it is always my dream to persue masters... Why la why!

HAPPY 2009!

Yay! Its a new year! And I don't even have the time to reflect on my 2008 and plan for my 2009.... All I can think of is how to settle my masters registration and when can I satrt work and how do i work and when can I get my pay??.... Really need it for building Fund....Gods house...and also my house... Sobbie! There were so much to do and so complicated. I even have to force myself to run about getting the application solve eventhough I am badly attacked with flu, swollen face, tooth ache and blocked ear... Thanks to chinese herbal tea...my swell hv gone down and flu is getting better...but my ear is still blocked!

So what is ahead of 2009? OMG!!!! My wedding is this YEAR!! Wow! 10 more months and there I go! One beautiful bride...young and beautiful one..* cought**cough* 2009... it is definitely going to be a great year.

Gloomy Christmas...

So what is with this Christmas? Hmmm... I didn join any countdown on the eve... We were all in church. On Christmas day, my faince hv to go to church, so i spend time with his mom cooking and preparing for the pot luck in his aunts house later in the evening. We did not go out at all cas he was tired and he slept the whole afternoon. In the evening we drop by Kiera's full moon and the head to the hospital to visit one of my friend who is suffering with cancer... SAD yeah.

So Christmas ended with a dinner and then sleep... outch!

On the 26th morning, I travel back to Penang to celebrate Christmas with my family. I was full of excitement and I can't wait to greet my parents and sister. I has been 3 years I didn't make it back for Christmas due to studies...but this time... I HAVE THE TIME TO GO BAK HOME!!!

As I was about to reach Penang, I gave my dad a call, all the excitement turns into worries, uncertainties and sadness... My dad jz recieved the news that my grandpa is admitted in the the ICU! Argh! Why must this happen? The moment I reach the bus station, we hop in to the car and get going to Seberang Jaya Hospital. We couldn't do much but just prayed for miracle to happen because we were not allowed to go in to give him a visit. After the doctor stabalizes his condition, we rush in to the ICU to see him.. He was a sleep with pipes all over his mouth and nose. He was in a pretty critical condition. The doctor said that his gall bladder has burst and effected his intestine and kidney... Argh! WHy!

The doctor waited until his blood pressure stabalizes and then performed an operation... So.. the BBQ party goes on with a sad heart... but we try to spend as much time together as possible and prayed for miracle to happen...

Until today, he is still in ICU... it is still uncertain how it is going to be.... My mom is seeking her voodoo..which predicts deaths.. I am believing in God to bring my grandpas health back to normal... Miracle shall happen... It will happen.... I miss my grandpa....

Fly so fast!

It is almost a month now since I completed my degree. I have been in the holiday mode till today. Ah well, my holiday started with an awesome trip to Singapore for Asia Conference. Then, I went back home to spend some precious time with my family and then finally, my first plane flight adventure! I flew to Kota Kinabalu!! YAY! Counting week by week, time flies really fast with all the unforgettable moments with family and friends. After all this wonderful holiday, it is time for Theen Kin and me to stay focus on our new house and what about wedding? GOSH! We almost forget! We were so packed with activities, serving, and me going crazy over choosing the right topic for my masters till the planning for wedding totally got out of our mind! We only come to realise that after church yesterday while we were settling our house lighting. OUTCH!

But then praise God! It is really a great blessings to get good deals through out our whole renovation even though some unwanted things happened. We manage to get our lights and fan with a very low price ( but then, 3 lights broke…SOBBIE!). Besides that, we got our stove for more than 50% discount for a super expensive stove that we were eying for and Theen Kin’s family bless him with refrigerator and washing machine! Awesome huh?

Now the lights and fans are all up and it is time to shop for curtains and furniture!

KOta Kinabalu

12th December 2008, 4.00am, was my first ever ride on a plane! I was so excited and yet sleepy the moment I got my tickets and checked in my bags. My heart beats so fast, that i don't even know what sleepy means.

Walking in to the plane, owh! I was nicely greeted by sweet air stewardes. Walking towards my seat with great exciement...but then it droped a little... the seat was not as big and bus seat... Its ok, I got the window seat! As the plane moves, my heart jumps with excitement! And it accelerate, and my heart beats even faster! And the off!!! YAY! I am flying!!!

I reached KK around 6.30 am and it was super bright! I was like hey, I will be still in bed in KL at this time! But the life there...almost everybody is super awake! So , my first destination was to eat pork noodle with a lot of porky stuff inside.. Then head home to sleep... Later in the afternoon, we went to UMS for a lottle visit and then to 1 Borneo. Yeah it was a good place... 50 percent of KL shopping mall!

In the evening, we have home coooked food from my boyfriends' friend mother! Awh! Superb! The next day was the wedding day of my boyfriends friend...

On sunday, We went to gaya street for breakfast ( fisf noodle- noodle make of fish) Then do a little quick shopping there. They sets up stalls selling lots of stuff Just like out night market. After breakfast, we went to church. Then after that, we head for ngau chap ( beef noodle with beef stuff inside). It was too beefy for me.... but it is nice! After lunch, we head to Karambunai for the beach. We played banana boat...but i could nt join them... So i followed the boat that drag the banana boat! LOL!

After KAramBunai we went to dunno where for coconut pudding ( Coconut jelly in side coconut fruit) and oyster bakar! It was superb! After that, we went to gayang for seafood dinner! It was a wonderful dinner...all the seafood it really really fresh!

Monday...sad to say.. it is the day to leave kk...SOBBIE!!!! It was so sad that we almost missed out plane home! We checked in late and we have to run all the way to terminal!!! Believe it! Yeas! We ran!!! We were one of the last to enter the plane! HEHE! O yeah, before that, we had breakfast with pastor Daud.. we ate pai mien...some noodle la... and then he head to philipline market to do somemore shopping before we leave for airport..

Well, really a big thanks to the Sabah friends who are so helpful and great! Our trip there was so well taken care of by them... drive us around, provide a place to stay and blessing us with meals and warm friendship! I really missed the time there!

I am Flying!

So much of thinking, I think I will just put it aside for a moment and just head for my holiday! Yeah, it is going to be my 1st plane flight! Yay! I am so so so excited!

Brain Exhausted

Too much of thinking can sometimes makes you whole body tired. Yeah. Eventhough I have my 8 hour sleep but then I am still tired. I am seriously do not know what to do... Yeah the lecturers are all very nice to provide my with ideas and reading materials. I just can't decide now...

Left Or Right?

Life is pretty must set in the way that I wanted it to be, to continue masters after my degree to see how far I can go and also to get a better understanding of an application of a physics field. There is no point getting to know all the theory but not applying it. As I was completing my degree, the plan of the vision begins to work. It was all perfect and right until last week.

Now I have one professor and one doctor offering me place to do masters in UM. Well, I do not know who to pick. Both have their own advantages and I have interest on both also. Well, for people to choose, of course they will go for professor! Yeah he is a very experience professor and yeah, he is good in knowledge. But truly, no body understand anything in his class but score A. So how? I do not know. There are other complain as well. How true is it I do not know…

I am now left confused and suppressed. I do not know what I want to do. Sometimes I wonder is this the right choice? They approach me personally… I did not ask… well, it is a great blessing but GOD! Why?

Yeah, this is arise and build season and it is like a season where problems starts to bombard you one by one. First, car tyre crack. Then, my masters is uncertain, and then now my phone button is not functioning well! WHY? ! Help me God…